I wannas sexs uuuuu
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
