8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
