I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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