Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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