thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize