I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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