no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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