I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
