OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
