How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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