Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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