you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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