ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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