those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
