You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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