you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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