Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
