Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
