So drunk its hurt
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
