are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
