whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
