Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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