Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
there was a trapeze. enough said
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize