Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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