weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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