you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
