her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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