I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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