Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
