i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
