my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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