I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
