I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
