Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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