Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
