I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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