Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
