Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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