Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
