Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
