I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
