dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
