dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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