Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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