drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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