Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
