First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
