I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
