Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
one two three fourrrrnication!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
