Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
