I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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