i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
