Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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