C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
