How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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