i may or may not be watching the land before time
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i've created a new STD.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize