I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
