i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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