okay pat passed out under dana's car
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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