I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
