what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
